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Camia
January 21, 2007"In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."
Some time in my college years, during my few trips to the library, I stumbled upon this phrase while gathering books to be used as sources for a short paper in econ 101. The phrase is direct and easy to understand yet it carries a bitterly-sarcastic reality that spares no one. No one is free from taxes but most of all no one escapes death. Not even Peter Pan. What's worst is that we are not assured of a quick and painless death - the variables come in play even if the result is doom. Thus is the case of my beloved uncle.
He has spent his last two months in hospital battling all sorts of illness. His soul was strong, and it had the will to live, but his body was weak. The inevitable came earlier than expected, last night around 11 pm, his earthly tent finally gave in, the straps and pinnings uprooted by the torturous wind. The death god took him away.
I guess things will never be the same without him. The usual family gatherings, and casual family conversations will be less lively without him. Also, I won't see him riding his bike on the way to to his camia field. His usual attire: long sleeves and nylon pants with a "takas" loosely fastened on his waist is carved in my memory. Although he was fighting to the last breath, he died with a face that of a happy man. I guess he knew in his deathbed that the clan did everything in it's power to save him even if the chances of survival is nil.
We know that he is in a better place right now. A place where death and taxes are non-existent. A place where illness and heart problems are unheard of. Having that in mind lessens our pain.
Dear God
January 18, 2007looks like i ate too much again. if it is not too much of a trouble, please save me from indigestion. because i really abhor, aside from an aching tooth, the feeling of an upset stomach. i have been cussing frequently than usual, but i intend to lessen it. lately, i have been slacking more than usual, and i intend to cut it. i have been too busy with nothing, and its becoming more like a vice: trapped in a wretched device that only speaks 1's and 0's. lately, i caught the habit of shadow boxing and i think people are starting to notice i'm hitting them high and low jabs. please help me terminate this.
GOD, please save me from the jerk that i'll become.
as i hit the sack tonight let me thank you for giving me another day in paradise. though its been months since i last heard mass, i want you to know how grateful i am. from the abundant supply of chocolates c/o mom and dad to old navy shirts and undies from ating, thank you. to my uncles for the company during the holidays, and for proving that the best cook in the world is a pampango - who cooks with love as the secret ingredient. to my homies, who stood by despite my loud mouth and insane to the membrane ideas, those 2 a.m. strolls and the flower's swift-justice-scythe, also for bearing with my whims. i want you to know that waking in the middle of the night to cook breakfast has never been fun. and the loneliness? oh yes. the worst of it's kind was easier to bear with during the cold holidays with you guys around. although you scatter like mice when its time to clean up. are we ever going to graduate from small town farm boys to big time gang lords?
GOD, i thank you.
to the people who still want to become the next hokage, forget it. i'm taking the throne unless you can name my three favorite flowers and promise to give me a lifetime supply of angel drops. to my best friend: ganbare, akawnting o oware!
GOD, thank you for giving me friends.
Take me away
January 16, 2007last saturday, i was on my way home when a slipper hit me. well, not actually close but it slammed full force on the hood. i'm not really sure what brand it was but it resembled those old bandolino slippers, and boy! it was heavy. it happened in the middle of the night when all establishments and restos along the stretch of visayas avenue are already closed. it was one of those moments where you wished you were home sleeping on your bed, and dreaming of your crush. but the appeal of Dota never seems to fade and time flew by unnoticed in my friends apartment in Up. okay, now we are officially Dota addicts. f@ck! bane elemental - for life!
as i went to a stop, fear took over the cockpit. my hands were unable to react and for all i know death was within striking distance. the monstrous noise of the diesel engine seem to form a strange rhythm, like one of those background sound effects used in suspense movies. the kind that would flush out childhood thoughts: i thought about how i associated peebo of bioman with peabo bryson. i also realized that marco sison did not come to a resolution whether to pick either aida or lorna or fe.
to be continued….
Somewhere in the middle
January 15, 2007i'm thinking about going but i want to stay. i'm thinking of the future but the past won't let go, like shackles they pin me down. i'm thinking about all the time i wasted, all the why's and if's circling in my head. i'm going straight but my eyes are blinded by your light, i'm forced to a stop though every cell of my body shouts for you. i'm making amends and i'm fooling around. i'm running but my feet are lagging. i want to protect you from harm and i'm afraid of hurting you myself. i'm counting sheeps but i'm herding a pack wolves. i'm looking for you and you are hiding from me. i'm not letting go but you are pushing me away, and thus, we're drifting apart. i'm thinking about gory the nights i spent in the abattoir and the beast's ordeal with the blade. i'm thinking positive but you are doubting me. i'm thinking about spending the night writing this but i still have class tomorrow.
To whom it may concern
January 12, 2007its been a few weeks and the wound on my left foot hasn't healed. there are a lot of possible reasons: 1) i did not apply anything on the wound 2) i still wore socks to school for three days while the wound was still open 3) i might have high amounts of sugar in my body. this may sound trivial to an average person but not to someone who has diabetes. i don't have diabetes but my dad has it and a couple of close relatives too. i'm afraid i would be a likely candidate for diabetes if we consider genetics and my current diet. to people who are in a similar situation, i guess its not too late. an ounce of prevention is way better than a pound medicine. i'm very thankful my mom's clan is spared from this bane. otherwise, i'm in double jeopardy and i'm sure to spend my mid-life in crisis. big time.
that is why i'm thinking of my diet, lessening sweets and eating more fiber-enriched food. i guess its not to late for me and you (if we're in the same situation) to start exercising regularly. what is 30 minutes a day right?