Winless in Doha

February 1, 2007

Brown men can’t jump. Those with above-average vertical leaps can neither dribble nor shoot. The athleticism of the Malay race, if it is really there, is suited for sepak takraw, not basketball. The embarrassing loss of the Philippine national basketball team in Doha, Qatar, (winless and scared shitless after the tournament), is just the latest on a long, long list of meltdowns in international basketball tournaments.

The tattooed basketball mercenaries from the United States and Trust Territories and elsewhere can’t be of much help. They are here because they can’t make it as benchwarmers in lousy NBA teams such as the Atlanta Hawks. Stints in the CBA? Hardly. Life in the minor leagues in the US (USBL, NBL etc.) is too tough: flea-invested hotels, lousy food, creaking team buses, pay of a McDonald crew. These mercenaries have found a heaven here. Plus, they get all the leggy girls in town.

The Manila Times special report on basketball was excellent journalism. Something has to be written about the passion—and obsession—toward a team sports that has become the second national pastime after politics. Only in this hapless country of ours does basketball, a sports where we always miserably fail, intersects with politics and popular culture to a level beyond comprehension. Basketball stars shine in politics. Politicians manage and own minor basketball teams. Basketball lemons, in oversized shorts, are lionized and get the treatment of rock stars.

The bigger basketball teams are owned by the tycoons, basketball fans themselves.

Question. Is there hope for Philippine basketball? Can we at least recapture the decent standing we used to have in international tournaments? Is too much focus on basketball (to the detriment of sepak takraw and other games suited for Malays) justified?

There is only one answer and the nabobs and high priests of Philippine sports should get this. None. Wala.

We are a hopeless case. If Philippine basketball were a car, it is a Torana. The competition are Modenas and Targas. Or, at the very least, S-Class Benzes and 7-series Bimmers.

Forget basketball. It is not for brown men who cannot jump, dribble and shoot with elementary decency.
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