Tanjoubi

i would like to thank everyone who greeted me… lalo na yung mga saktong 12 am grabe sobrang na touch ako. you know who you guys are, and i'll say this like tom cruise on jerry maguire, "you complete me." naks…

thank you to all those people who came all the way from different places to join me here pampanga, you guys are the next best thing after my family. i would like to thank ta peng for the cake. my bestfriend for the boxer shorts and for lending me your mp3 palyer for an indefinite period. to my childhood friends roby, alan jepoy - the people i reminded 5 million times to come at lunch time. you guys managed to cheer me up even though you came dead drunk around 1 am of feb 1 and sang like crazy on the videoke till early morning. tanidayo ala nang mas bolang kekayu, pero aminan ku akung peka bolang kekatamu. to my dad and sister thank you for the love, i could not ask for more.

at syempre i maku na yang peka malagung ima keng mabilug a yatu. dacal salamat, ena maglambat kanyan aku naman ing magobra para keka.

Licensed to kill

I came to LTO around 1 pm thinking that there would be a lot less people in the afternoon. I was wearing a plain shirt and my favorite chevignon faded denims. Due to the wound on my left foot, I decided to wear slippers instead. It would be my first time to renew my driver’s license alone, usually my mom accompanies me, but this year I decided to do it myself. Honestly, the idea of renewing it myself amused me. It was like a baby step towards independence. For all this time, I was always dependent on my mom when it comes to stuff like this. I felt like a captain of a stranded ship searching for a lighthouse so it can reach shore.

Within a few days I would be 23, and I think I should be more proactive. The time is not too early and not too late. Another climatic change is on its way. Based on the new system it should only take 2 hours or less to have a driver’s license renewed.

As I entered the front gate, a pair of hands held me back. Without even the chance to ask why, I was rescued by a guy, which obviously was a fixer. He veered me away from the entrance to the sidewalk. Seconds later, we had a deal.

He led me to the adjacent stalls along the stretch of East Avenue. The place was like a wet market – cramped and grubby; the difference is that it was teeming with testing centers and notary public instead of usual meat and vegetable stalls. Our deal was that he would accompany me through the process of renewing my license. Well, so much for thinking grand visions of independence. I thought how lame I was letting manong guard screw me effortlessly. How am I supposed to stand for the girl of my dreams when I’m blown away like hay in the field?

So much for my high hopes of renewing it painlessly: I miscalculated the inefficiency factor and the under the table negotiations. The LTO has been known to be one of the most corrupt agencies in the government and true enough it lived up to its reputation. I got my new license at almost 5 pm. I have to amuse myself listening to the Koreans seated near me. I also have to bear the people who are above the line! Those people who use their influence  to avoid the hassle of lining up are ugly as Puma Ley-Ar.

Camia

"In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."

Some time in my college years, during my few trips to the library, I stumbled upon this phrase while gathering books to be used as sources for a short paper in econ 101. The phrase is direct and easy to understand yet it carries a bitterly-sarcastic reality that spares no one. No one is free from taxes but most of all no one escapes death. Not even Peter Pan. What's worst is that we are not assured of a quick and painless death - the variables come in play even if the result is doom. Thus is the case of my beloved uncle.

He has spent his last two months in hospital battling all sorts of illness. His soul was strong, and it had the will to live, but his body was weak. The inevitable came earlier than expected, last night around 11 pm, his earthly tent finally gave in, the straps and pinnings uprooted by the torturous wind. The death god took him away.

I guess things will never be the same without him. The usual family gatherings, and casual family conversations will be less lively without him. Also, I won't see him riding his bike on the way to to his camia field. His usual attire: long sleeves and nylon pants with a "takas" loosely fastened on his waist is carved in my memory. Although he was fighting to the last breath, he died with a face that of a happy man. I guess he knew in his deathbed that the clan did everything in it's power to save him even if the chances of survival is nil.

We know that he is in a better place right now. A place where death and taxes are non-existent. A place where illness and heart problems are unheard of. Having that in mind lessens our pain.

Dear God

looks like i ate too much again. if it is not too much of a trouble, please save me from indigestion. because i really abhor, aside from an aching tooth, the feeling of an upset stomach. i have been cussing frequently than usual, but i intend to lessen it. lately, i have been slacking more than usual, and i intend to cut it. i have been too busy with nothing, and its becoming more like a vice: trapped in a wretched device that only speaks 1's and 0's. lately, i caught the habit of shadow boxing and i think people are starting to notice i'm hitting them high and low jabs. please help me terminate this.

GOD, please save me from the jerk that i'll become.

as i hit the sack tonight let me thank you for giving me another day in paradise. though its been months since i last heard mass, i want you to know how grateful i am. from the abundant supply of chocolates c/o mom and dad to old navy shirts and undies from ating, thank you. to my uncles for the company during the holidays, and for proving that the best cook in the world is a pampango - who cooks with love as the secret ingredient. to my homies, who stood by despite my loud mouth and insane to the membrane ideas, those 2 a.m. strolls and the flower's swift-justice-scythe, also for bearing with my whims. i want you to know that waking in the middle of the night to cook breakfast has never been fun. and the loneliness? oh yes. the worst of it's kind was easier to bear with during the cold holidays with you guys around. although you scatter like mice when its time to clean up. are we ever going to graduate from small town farm boys to big time gang lords? 

GOD, i thank you.

to the people who still want to become the next hokage, forget it. i'm taking the throne  unless you can name my three favorite flowers and promise to give me a lifetime supply of angel drops. to my best friend: ganbare, akawnting o oware!

GOD, thank you for giving me friends.

Take me away

last saturday, i was on my way home when a slipper hit me. well, not actually close but it slammed full force on the hood. i'm not really sure what brand it was but it  resembled those old bandolino slippers, and boy! it was heavy. it happened in the middle of the night when all establishments and restos along the stretch of visayas avenue are already closed. it was one of those moments where you wished you were home sleeping on your bed, and dreaming of your crush. but the appeal of Dota never seems to fade and time flew by unnoticed in my friends apartment in Up. okay, now we are officially Dota addicts. f@ck! bane elemental - for life!

as i went to a stop, fear took over the cockpit. my hands were unable to react and for all i know death was within striking distance. the monstrous noise of the diesel engine seem to form a strange rhythm, like one of those background sound effects used in suspense movies. the kind that would flush out childhood thoughts: i thought about how i associated peebo of bioman with peabo bryson. i also realized that marco sison did not come to a resolution whether to pick either aida or lorna or fe.

to be continued….